Now that the Zombie Apocalypse is Upon us, Bring Toilet Paper

My dad didn’t believe me last week when I told him he should get a package of toilet paper because people were going to hoard it. He didn’t buy any. Now, he’s on a waiting list for six rolls of industrial toilet paper. Most of his neighborhood votes Trump Republican. Their leader told them the COVID-19 pandemic is a Democratic Party hoax to damage his re-election chances. His followers on social media say they feel strongly that he’s right about that, that it’s a hoax, but they’re hoarding toilet paper. Not confident enough to risk the basics.

I wondered why the virus is a different color in every picture. Sometimes, it’s yellow with maroon flowers. Sometimes, it’s pink or even blue. If I have to die, I hope mine is pink. I looked it up and read that the virus is colorless and the pictured colors are nothing more than the die used to view it under a microscope or the pictures are colorized for publication to stand out. I still hope mine is pink, or purple.

Everyone seems to be so worried about AI, from the late Stephen Hawking to Star Trek Discovery (Season 2) and Picard. In both Star Treks, the writers depict deadly attacks of crazed robots trying to take over humanoid civilization, and Hawking said it’s possible. I have no problem with them. An android or synthetic won’t cough on you. They’re the hypochondriac’s friend, but as inanimate objects, if sneezed or coughed on, or touched by a human (or maybe a Vulcan too) who hasn’t followed the rules for hand washing, they may carry the virus either 15 minutes or 9 days (see below). I don’t know anyone who’s sick but I do know a bunch of 60-year old hypochondriacs. They’re suffering. It’s not funny. If we were all only 59 1/2….

I’m working from home now because if you have a little cough or sneeze, everyone on the train looks at you like you’re a murderer, and because I’m incapable of not touching my face when I’m told I cannot touch my face. If no one said anything about face touching, I’d have no problem.

You and I will probably never be tested for Covid-19 because we’re not NBA players, or Tom Hanks. I hope he and his wife are doing well.

Houston Council Member Greg Travis says it’s not the zombie apocalypse and was incredulous that the rodeo was shut down. He’s being consoled with free tickets for a cruise.

A cruise ship has entered the port of Juneau, Alaska putting the town in a panic. I used to have relatives in Juneau and I visited often. IMHO, the cruise ships were a curse to the town before COVID-19. The town has a ton of gift shops and expensive restaurants catering to the tourists but nowhere to grocery shop or buy normal clothes to wear to work, or around Juneau. They don’t have the health care facilities to deal with an outbreak and they don’t have the economy to deal with a cruise shutdown.

One of the biggest problems I’ve seen is the lack of consistent and correct information about the virus. COVID-19 can live on an inanimate object, like an android or Woody from Toy Story, either 15 minutes or 9 days. I’ve heard both. A Facebook post claiming to be from Stanford University instructing people how they can tell if they have the virus or something else, turned out to be a hoax. A Mother Jones reporter called Stanford and they responded that they never released that information. So, either drink warm liquids or not, but my grandma always went with chicken soup and a matzo ball.

Speaking of which, COVID-19 has spawned a new wave of anti-Semitism and social media, always having so much trouble stopping hate speech while having no problem stopping real political speech, is full of pretty vile attacks. Apparently, someone in a Jewish Republican group was sick at CPAC, so now they say it’s a Jewish conspiracy. Jewish Republicans may finally learn that they should not be Republicans. Chinese Americans are discovering the same thing. Let’s not forget that CPAC itself is like a yearly meeting of the KKK and Mean Girls all rolled up into one.

I’ve been off Facebook for several months now. I recently went off Twitter too. Actually, Twitter kicked me off for criticizing the Trump Administration’s handling of the COVID-19 situation, promising corporate welfare, and the rest of us should “eat dirt and die.” I put it in the words of my late mother when she described American health care reform back in 2009.

Twitter claimed I was threatening people. I think the Trump Administration is threatening people. Trump outright threatens people all the time on Twitter and it’s A-okay with @jack. Now, Trump wants to suspend payroll taxes and use the funding shortfall to end Social Security and Medicare, just when everyone’s savings is shot to hell. That seems like a threat to me. Hey, Trump supporters: how’s your 401K? That was their favorite question up until last week. Now, that question is considered fight words. The right wing extremists love their free speech until someone else exercises it.

In any event, I declined to delete the tweet and allow Twitter to replace it with some sort of public shaming message, the requirements for me to get back on the site. I’m done with social media, even now when we’re all stuck staying close to home and have nowhere to go, no plays, no baseball, no basketball, no concerts, no movies. I might venture out after work today to see if I can find some toilet paper.

Written by

Lawyer, Teacher, Mediator. Worked on many political campaigns and learned nothing will help until we enforce our laws, particularly laws against corruption.

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